YOU WILL BE MY SLAVE…
PUNISHMENT / REWARD IS
NEVER FAR AWAY

The World of KINKSTERS, FETISH, BDSM

As individuals we all have secret desires. Some of us are aware (kinksters)  of them and don’t act upon them, Some of us never even discover them and are not interested. Then there are those that have discovered them or are just starting to and are interested in acting upon them. For those who secret discoveries include Fetish and Kink, I am collecting here some relevant resources and links for you:

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Fenya

Definitions

BDSM

“Ritualized sexual aggression and submission.” – Jay Wiseman
“The exploration, between consenting partners, of alternative or nontraditional forms of eroticism.” – Slakker
A four letter contraction of three abbreviations for three phrases — BD, D/s, and S&M. It is an umbrella term encompassing Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & submission, and Sadism & Masochism (or Sex Magick or Master/slave) — and, to a lesser degree, other concepts such as Fetishism, Exhibitionism, Voyeurism, and occasionally Crossdressing. The first three items are distinct but related concepts. These three separate elements are neither mutually exclusive nor synonymous: Participants in the BDSM community might practice only one of these concepts or all of them. For example, someone might like playing the sexual aggressive role and tying up his lover (while dressed in a Catholic nun’s habit) but he doesn’t want to cause her pain.

Bondage

The application of ropes, chains, or other restraints placed over one’s body — or parts of one’s body such as hands and arms — to restrict one’s physical movements.

Discipline

A combination of correction and punishment administered by the dominant to the submissive for educational purposes and to enforce rules and proper behavior.
“Discipline is something that comes from within a person; a will and ability to meet expectations. It can be taught, but it cannot be forced without a substantial loss of quality.” Furthermore “discipline as a skill that is prevalent within the context of all relationships and roles in life … I see correction as just that: there has been an error, fault or problem identified which requires change. I agree that if the act was performed with malice or intent to harm or destruct it may require punishment. However, depending on the error, it may simply require review, correction, adjustment, improvement or restitution. While I am of the opinion that correction in some way, shape or form is necessary in order to learn from one’s mistakes and avoid repeating them in the future; I feel punishment is above and beyond correction of an action and more appropriately addresses unsuitable intent or attitude.” – Austin Bunny (in what she stresses is a “personal definition.”)

Dominance

governing or exercising one’s will, influence, or control over another in a consensual — and ideally mutually pleasurable — exchange of power. (Sometimes it is combined with elements of sadism.) See the D/s (Dominance and Submission) terms below.

Submission

(often written in lower case) yielding or surrendering one’s control to the will or authority of another in a consensual — and ideally mutually pleasurable — exchange of power. (Sometimes it is combined with elements of masochism.)

Sadism

The condition in which (sexual) gratification is gained through causing pain or degradation to others. (Sometimes it is combined with elements of domination.)

Masochism

The condition in which (sexual) gratification depends on physical pain and/or humiliation. (Sometimes it is combined with elements of submission.)

Master/slave

Relationships where partners play the roles of masters (or mistresses) and slaves. (See Master — or Mistress — and Slave below)

Fetish and Fetishism

In Anthropology, a fetish is an object attributed with magical power in pre-literate cultures.
In Psychology, fetishism is a fixation — or recurrent, intense, sexual obsession with — an inanimate object (such as shoes or mud) or body part that is not intrinsically sexual in nature (such as armpits or nostrils) and which is absolutely essential for the Fetishist’s sexual arousal and sexual gratification. Fetishism falls under the general category of paraphilias: “abnormal or unnatural attraction.”

In colloqual speech, a Fetish is “something one likes” (as in “she has a shoe store fetish” or “he has a fetish for women in thongs.”). In this sense it is not “absolutely essential for … sexual arousal and sexual gratification.”
(the BDSM contraction doesn’t include an “F” for Fetishism but perhaps it should.)